#2. The Wall Street Journal

Business Students are having a completely illicit affair with the Wall Street Journal. The sign that a relationship has either gotten really serious or has gone completely off the rails of sanity is when two people come up with pet names for each other. Business students simply call this paper The Journal.

The saddest thing about this affair is that most business students don't actually read The Journal. They simply read the column of short headlines at the left, and the "cultural interest" story below the fold. Yet, News Corp. continues to collect subscription fees and advertising revenues from willing victims who believe the relationship is mutually beneficial. In reality, The Journal, or, Journal, The, as it may be known by your friendly neighborhood b-school librarian, is just another accessory that helps the business student fill out their professional appearance. Paired with a Rolex watch or the Apple iPhone "Stocks" Application, the business student can convince those around him that he cares what's going on in the rest of the world, which buys him some time to find a short article he can discuss with the recruiter after this evening's corporate presentation. The Journal also enables the business student to avoid real news, such as the latest obesity study or what happens in Twilight.

So the next time you see a business student with The Journal tucked under his arm, rest assured that he could just as easily be sporting smoke in one hand and mirrors in the other. For a quick laugh, ask him the title of section C (Money and Investing - which he does not know because he is too busy "investing" in his education) or section D (Personal Journal - which covers such non-business topics as sports and relationships; the best business students don't care about these. He probably absent-mindedly passed this section over to his friend in the other graduate school, if he has any).